I’ve been thinking a lot about starting over recently—mostly about money, but also about mistakes. On one hand, we live in a society that allows people to declare bankruptcy, to start over with a clean slate. This is not altogether dissimilar to the Old Testament tradition of Jubilee, which gives people an opportunity to lay aside the debt that clings so tight. This can be a good thing; in fact, it’s kind of the heart of Jesus’ scandalous cleansing of sin—giving people a chance to start over with a clean slate.

On the other hand, taking advantage of some of those opportunities (like financial bankruptcy) hurts others, too—it means that obligations are left unfulfilled. It reminds me of a passage from Alcoholics Anonymous:

The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?’’

That’s how I feel when I hear some excitement about the cap finally getting on the BP oil rig. On one hand, it’s terrific that the problem isn’t still getting worse; on the other hand, it’s hard to get super excited when the devastation is still so vast. It’s how I’ll feel when the federal government finally quits deficit spending (if that ever happens)–but all that will do is keep it from getting worse; it won’t do anything about actually reducing the debt.

On a personal front, I am getting weary with working so hard to reduce my debt—because it’s still so daunting. But at least I’m whittling away at it—trying not to take advantage of a system that would allow me to simply step away from my obligations, because, after all, the debt was my fault to begin with.

Good luck, BP; I feel your pain just a little.

Part of the reason I asked Devin to apply to so many colleges (31: apparently a Fairview High School record) was so that he’d have lots of options. After visiting a bunch of them, we finally settled on Millsaps College in Jackson, Mississippi. A number of factors entered into the decision, but we basically gave Devin a choice of about five that were all within about $3,000 bottom-line price after all of the scholarships and financial aid packages were awarded.

Millsaps was the highest of those schools in that ball park, but we also had one more potential scholarship–a theater scholarship–still left to get; and we were all but guaranteed to get at least something. After going through a lot of work to put together a video audition in the midst of the terrible Tennessee flooding, he was awarded the full amount ($3,000)—at which time the financial aid office reduced his need-based aid by the exact same amount.

We were told the last time he had multiple merit scholarships that “the merit-based and need-based scholarships are different pools of money,” which was the rationale for why the merit-based awards he received couldn’t stack–he had to choose one or the other–but that the need-based were separate from those. Lie #1. When we let them know we were within a few thousand dollars of being able to afford Millsaps, we were told that the theater scholarship money would be on top of the other awards. Lie #1.

And here’s the real kicker as a part of his new theater “scholarship”: Devin now has to be involved in every production whether he’s enrolled in theater classes or not (even during football season), and his GPA minimum requirement is higher, too–yet he doesn’t have any more money from the school.

Also, Devin had already declined the other schools’ awards and put down a deposit to attend Millsaps. But I don’t trust them anymore, so I think I’m going to open it up again; we’ll see how it goes.

First, I like the description of intrinsic motivation:

We have a biological drive. We eat when we’re hungry, drink when we’re thirsty, have sex to satisfy our carnal urges. We also have a second drive—we respond to rewards and punishments in our environment. But what we’ve forgotten—and what the science shows—is that we also have a third drive. We do things because they’re interesting, because they’re engaging, because they’re the right things to do, because they contribute to the world. The problem is that, especially in our organizations, we stop at that second drive. We think the only reason people do productive things is to snag a carrot or avoid a stick. But that’s just not true. Our third drive—our intrinsic motivation—can be even more powerful.

Second, I like how these guys articulate what teachers often call the “self-fulfilling prophecy”:

Pink: Often these outside motivators can give us less of what we want and more of what we don’t want. Think about that study of Israeli day care centers, which we both write about. When day care centers fined parents for being late to pick up their kids, the result was that more parents ended up coming late. People no longer felt a social obligation to behave well.

Shirky: If you assume bad faith from the average participant, you’ll probably get it. In social media, the design principle that has worked remarkably well is to treat good faith as the normal case and to regard defections from that as essentially a special case to be solved.

Pink: Same goes with organizations. We don’t realize how much our unexamined assumptions take us to radically different places. If I’m running an organization and my starting premise about human beings is that people are fundamentally passive and inert, that they won’t do a damn thing unless I threaten them with a stick or entice them with a carrot, that takes me down one road. But I think that’s the wrong premise, the wrong theory of human nature.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I always get sad when I hear about these kinds of things–mostly for the victims. I’ve worked with young people as a teacher and youth minister my entire adult life, and I see the devastating effects of sexual abuse on some of the kids I’ve known. When I’m pretty sure about the guilt of a perpetrator, it pushes my ability to extend grace to the breaking point. I have a very difficult time feeling any level of forgiveness to one who sexually abuses another–especially a child.

Sometimes I feel sadness for the accused, too, though. Again, since my whole professional life deals with kids, I have known people whose careers, families, even entire lives were completely devastated by what I believe to be false accusations. And all it takes is an accusation in some cases to completely destroy a person’s credibility for the rest of his life.

This particular case, however, hits home in a way like never before. Passmore was Devin’s martial arts instructor for many years–and he was incredibly influential in a very positive way. Even though Devin’s been away from Texas for 8 years, Passmore made the “top 40″ list of people Devin sent graduation invitations to.

Christine has always raved on Passmore, particularly citing his desire to mold kids’ character more than just teaching them self-defense. So selfishly, I can’t help but hope that he’s been falsely accused. On the other hand, I know that we can never truly know people beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I find myself simply praying that the truth will win out–and for healing for everyone involved. It’s definitely a reminder to me of how broken a world this is–and how desperately we all need God’s healing and forgiveness to make it through to the other side.

First, regarding athletic scholarships: 118 colleges play NCAA Division I football, and 238 play Division III. Certainly, we hear more about the NCAA teams, because so many more people attend those games. From a practical standpoint in the recruiting arena, though, the biggest difference is that Division III schools can’t offer athletic scholarships. They tend to pride themselves on the fact that their athletes really are scholars first—that they’re student-athletes, not just athletes. My bank account wishes that weren’t the case, because I know some of these Div III coaches would give Devin money if they could; but from a philosophical standpoint, I like that value system much better.

Second, regarding football longevity: Nationally, only 1 out of 4 guys who start out playing college football actually play all 4 years. 75% of them quit. That’s a staggering number to be, but it makes me that much more glad that we’re primarily focusing on schools that’ll provide need-based aid and merit-based scholarships rather than athletic scholarships. That way, if Devin becomes one of those statistics (even though I don’t think he will), the funding for college will still be there.

Third, regarding majors: 7 out of 8 freshmen change their majors at least once before they graduate. I figured it was pretty high, but I wouldn’t have guessed it’s that high. I still think it’s a good idea that we’re focusing on schools that have the program Devin is interested in–but it also means that the other academic areas need to be strong, too.

Fourth, regarding overall skills: It seems the three most important skills that lead to success in college are:

• Time management skills
• Study skills
• Test-taking skills

I would’ve probably guessed that the first two were in there, though the third makes sense, too. In fact, back in the day when I substitute taught (3 days a week while I attended classes 2 days a week), I developed a time management seminar I could use when classroom teachers didn’t leave lesson plans. That way, it would be appropriate for physics, algebra, history, English–you name it.

In fact, when I was asked to substitute for multiple days in the same classroom (and I still didn’t have lesson plans from the classroom teacher), I did some study skills stuff, though my seminar wasn’t quite as well thought out as the time management one.

I think I need to do a better job working with my kids (and my students) to help them develop all of those skills.

To be honest, I don’t actually listen to Christian radio all that much–I’m more of a Classical music guy, which contributes significantly to my nerd factor among my family members and friends. But this struck my attention: first, because I thought was kind of funny; second, because I considered appropriating it (stealing it) to use as one of those off-hand remarks I might make about myself when I’m speaking somewhere; and third, because I then began to wonder if that’s really the image we want to project.

I’m probably reading too much into it (my family members accuse me of that all the time), but I’m not sure we want to elevate our own depravity. I certainly am drawn more to someone with a humble stance (I’m a screw-up who needs God’s grace) than to an expert (God has made me perfect), especially a self-proclaimed one; so I appreciate that sentiment.

On the other hand, I wonder if this goes beyond just humility to an actual celebration of the brokenness. I mean, it’s one thing to acknowledge our sinfulness; it’s another to revel in it, right?
On the other hand, my friend and mentor Mike Yaconelli used to write and talk with this kind of posture all the time. He frequently referred to getting kicked out of Bible college, of being “just a K-mart pastor,” or of pastoring the “slowest growing church in America.” Maybe it’s because I knew him and so I realized it wasn’t just his schtick but his truly humble way of acknowledging his true need for God–or maybe I was just content with his (and my) type of “Messy Spirituality.” And maybe I need to look at that again with fresh perspective.

Or maybe I’m spinning my intellectual wheels unnecessarily and I need to find something else worthwhile to focus on.

Guys get the reputation (often honestly) for not wanting to follow directions, either verbally or in writing. We’d prefer to do it ourselves, convinced that we can find where we’re going or that we can put together that cabinet without trying to decipher the diagrams. I’m sure there’s a great faith lesson here, as well, but that’s not what sparked this post.

In my English class the other day, every single girl in class did the assignment incorrectly because they didn’t read the directions. All but one of the guys read the directions, and scored better on the assignment as a result. I thought that was interesting, so we discussed the stereotype a bit in class.

The next day, their journal assignment was: “Write an original poem about something really mundane.” This was one girl’s response:

Boys never read the directions,
Therefore, they’re always making corrections.
But today, to their dismay
The girls are the ones who aren’t okay
Looks like the girls have corrections to make.

Here’s my dilemma: I’ve been to Christian churches that practiced “sword drills,” where people looked up Bible passages as quickly as they could, shouting out to the leader; I’ve been to other churches that emphasized Bible memorization using militant terminology, as well. I’m not a huge fan of battle language about faith, even though some biblical passages certainly use that imagery; my problem is that I think we overdo that kind of language because it’s easier to rally people to war than it is to peace.

Chris Seay, author of several books and pastor of Ecclesia Church in Houston, told me that he was actually awarded a sword with the word “crusade” written on it for winning a sword drill competition—in 5th grade. This makes me want to weep. I mean, really? Is that what we’re wanting for our kids?

I get the biblical references. The two I hear the most often are these:

Ephesians 6:17 uses the “sword of the spirit” as a metaphor for the “word of God” in the extended metaphor of the “full armor of God.” However, the passage is quite clear that “the enemy” is evil as a force, not a people group. I can see some value in seeing our struggles with sin as battling our demons; that may be a healthy use of the metaphor.

Hebrews 4:12 refers to the dangerous nature of Scripture, that it’s not as simple or cut-and-dried as any of us would like to make it in order to fit our particular theologies. But this metaphor is clearly aimed at how God uses Scripture to “open us up” and reveal our true selves, good and bad, ultimately resulting in our spiritual growth.

Neither of these references point to using the sword against other people. Perhaps seeing militant usage of sacred texts from other faith traditions will help Christians realize how we can sound when talking about our faith, as well.

First, this is just plain fun. Ceremonies like weddings should have more expressions of fun like this.

Second, isn’t it interesting to think about how different generations respond to this sort of thing? This would’ve been unheard of 30 years ago; 60 years ago, it would’ve felt like an affront to the institution of marriage, family, church, culture, etc. Today, it’s one of the hottest video clips circulating the ‘net. There’s great discussion fodder for groups of parents, adult leaders, and students here. (ht Deech Kirk)

Third, isn’t it cool how just a little spark of creativity can create a lifelong memory that truly stands out? Are there places where we can help transform the mundane into something way more fun?

The final Supreme Court decision of this term is, I think, a great example of the complexities involved in this issue. I really don’t think most people are nearly as polarized on this issue as the loudmouths (on both sides) make it sound. Most of us believe the best people should be promoted to the best positions regardless of gender or race. Most of us also don’t refute that biases have occurred–and still occur–based on a number of factors, of which gender and race are still factors. And frankly, most of us would like to see those biases removed.

The rub comes in which one of those values wins out. For most of us, I think it depends upon the context. To be truthful, this may be wrong, but I don’t care if the best person for the job was promoted within the grocery stores at which I shop, the movie theaters I frequent, etc. I’m perfectly content with diversity issues winning the argument. If I have a brain tumor, I don’t care if not a single Caucasian, African American, or Hispanic are in the field. If the best qualified doctors are all from India, then by golly, I want an Indian doctor working on my head.

As a public schoolteacher, I HATE the “dumbing down” of American education. I think we’re headed for disaster if we have to play to the lowest common denominator in order to leave no child left behind. The problem with that policy is that the ownness for success is on the wrong person–it should be on the student. Maybe I’ll blog about that more later.

However, I also realize I’m biased by my own context. I’m a white male, and I was a reasonably successful student. Therefore, I need help sometimes to realize that my benchmarks may be culturally biased. I am convinced that without racial, gender, and economic data on standardized tests over the past 30 years, our tests wouldn’t have become more equitable–which they really have. So sometimes the measuring sticks themselves really do need to be rethought. After all, how many church youth workers find themselves tied to formal or informal measuring sticks related to numbers that they realize don’t always translate to true transformative ministry?

I also have to realize that I have far less racial prejudice than previous generations (especially living in the South) because we were bussed back and forth across town during my elementary school years to achieve mandated diversity. And the schoolteachers of the era simply had to figure out how to make it work, because it was more important to diversify than it was to keep the status quo.

I want the best qualified people doing the work–particularly work like firefighting, medicine, law enforcement, civil engineering, teaching, governing, banking–well, heck, I guess I want the best qualified people no matter what. When people are denied that opportunity because of gender, race, or other factors that shouldn’t be factors, that’s not good. But I also want every strata of society to represent the Kingdom of God at its finest–which includes every color, every race, every ethnicity, every culture. Somehow, I think our dialogue on these issues would be strengthened if we could hold up both of these values as good, noble values rather than assuming the worst about the opposition and demonizing the other point of view.