In other ways, this day was special. In particular, I was overwhelmed by the number of birthday well-wishes on my Facebook wall. It’s probably not all that big of a deal to those who spend way more time in cyberspace than I do, but since I limit myself to about 10-15 minutes a day usually, to find more than 100 notes, mostly from people I know very well, was incredibly humbling.

Add to that my wife posting: “Thank you for being such an amazing husband and father.” She’s great about complimenting me one-on-one, but it’s pretty sweet that she would do that publicly, as well. I was already feeling a little watery-eye syndrome, but that started the tears flowing.

Then the climax. My oldest son, Devin, posted this on his Facebook status:

Today is my dad’s 40th Birthday. Mr. Will Penner is one of my best friends and one of the greatest men I’ve met in my life. I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where I am today without him. I love you papi, and happy Birthday!

There are absolutely no words to describe how grateful I am to have a 19-year-old son who would say something like that—and in public, too. Because of the kind of kid Devin is, I don’t have to accept that the “normal” relational state between teenagers and parents is supposed to be marked by strain and conflict. What an incredible gift our father-son relationship is!

In fact, all of this catapults me to be overwhelmingly grateful to God for all of the blessings I’ve been given. I am a little ashamed of how I often focus on the negative—still being way in debt financially, struggling to find balance in how I spend my time, frustrations with my poor stewardship of my body, etc.—but right this moment, I’m probably more full of gratitude than any time in the past couple of decades.

God has gifted me with an incredible wife, five amazing kids, and a slew of friends and extended family members who love and care about me. I just may be the richest man in the word in the things that really count. Thank you, God!

A little less than half of the time, I devoted my time to working on my job at The Center for Youth Ministry Training, where I am leading some teams through translating the Lilly Foundation‘s research in youth ministry into practical tools for youth leaders. Some of that material will be released soon, which is exciting to me.

Another pretty good chunk of time was spent helping Christine at Cedar Crest Camp. I helped a little with some of the organizational and marketing things, assisted with staff training (which is always fun for me), led worship and keynoted the two weeks of youth camp (most of the weeks are predominantly younger children–not my sweet spot–but I love adolescents), and–perhaps best of all, attended “Mustard Seed Camp” as a co-camper with my youngest son, Daniel. Great stuff all the way around. I love the fact that the national press arm of the denomination, United Methodist Communications, did a nice story featuring Christine’s camp, too: “United Methodist camps offer s’more love.”

Additionally, I read a little, watched some Netflix–mostly episodes of The Tudors, Heroes, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, and Dexter–and played with my children. We swam, played some games, and rode around in the golf cart a little. And because my wife did such a good job developing her staff this year, I even got to spend a reasonable amount of time with her…and she even got some sleep most nights. (Yay!)

I’m teaching a couple of new courses at East Hickman High School this year, along with revamping some of the ones I’ve taught for several years; and I’m actually pretty jazzed about the school year. And I’m also pretty stoked about continuing my work with CYMT now that Mindi Godfrey is on board as our YMtoday.com marketing director–which allows me to work in my sweet spot on our projects, as well.

I’m a little bummed that summer’s over so quickly, but it was a really full one; so I have little to complain about. Onward and upward.

Part of the reason I asked Devin to apply to so many colleges (31: apparently a Fairview High School record) was so that he’d have lots of options. After visiting a bunch of them, we finally settled on Millsaps College in Jackson, Mississippi. A number of factors entered into the decision, but we basically gave Devin a choice of about five that were all within about $3,000 bottom-line price after all of the scholarships and financial aid packages were awarded.

Millsaps was the highest of those schools in that ball park, but we also had one more potential scholarship–a theater scholarship–still left to get; and we were all but guaranteed to get at least something. After going through a lot of work to put together a video audition in the midst of the terrible Tennessee flooding, he was awarded the full amount ($3,000)—at which time the financial aid office reduced his need-based aid by the exact same amount.

We were told the last time he had multiple merit scholarships that “the merit-based and need-based scholarships are different pools of money,” which was the rationale for why the merit-based awards he received couldn’t stack–he had to choose one or the other–but that the need-based were separate from those. Lie #1. When we let them know we were within a few thousand dollars of being able to afford Millsaps, we were told that the theater scholarship money would be on top of the other awards. Lie #1.

And here’s the real kicker as a part of his new theater “scholarship”: Devin now has to be involved in every production whether he’s enrolled in theater classes or not (even during football season), and his GPA minimum requirement is higher, too–yet he doesn’t have any more money from the school.

Also, Devin had already declined the other schools’ awards and put down a deposit to attend Millsaps. But I don’t trust them anymore, so I think I’m going to open it up again; we’ll see how it goes.

I always get sad when I hear about these kinds of things–mostly for the victims. I’ve worked with young people as a teacher and youth minister my entire adult life, and I see the devastating effects of sexual abuse on some of the kids I’ve known. When I’m pretty sure about the guilt of a perpetrator, it pushes my ability to extend grace to the breaking point. I have a very difficult time feeling any level of forgiveness to one who sexually abuses another–especially a child.

Sometimes I feel sadness for the accused, too, though. Again, since my whole professional life deals with kids, I have known people whose careers, families, even entire lives were completely devastated by what I believe to be false accusations. And all it takes is an accusation in some cases to completely destroy a person’s credibility for the rest of his life.

This particular case, however, hits home in a way like never before. Passmore was Devin’s martial arts instructor for many years–and he was incredibly influential in a very positive way. Even though Devin’s been away from Texas for 8 years, Passmore made the “top 40″ list of people Devin sent graduation invitations to.

Christine has always raved on Passmore, particularly citing his desire to mold kids’ character more than just teaching them self-defense. So selfishly, I can’t help but hope that he’s been falsely accused. On the other hand, I know that we can never truly know people beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I find myself simply praying that the truth will win out–and for healing for everyone involved. It’s definitely a reminder to me of how broken a world this is–and how desperately we all need God’s healing and forgiveness to make it through to the other side.

First, regarding athletic scholarships: 118 colleges play NCAA Division I football, and 238 play Division III. Certainly, we hear more about the NCAA teams, because so many more people attend those games. From a practical standpoint in the recruiting arena, though, the biggest difference is that Division III schools can’t offer athletic scholarships. They tend to pride themselves on the fact that their athletes really are scholars first—that they’re student-athletes, not just athletes. My bank account wishes that weren’t the case, because I know some of these Div III coaches would give Devin money if they could; but from a philosophical standpoint, I like that value system much better.

Second, regarding football longevity: Nationally, only 1 out of 4 guys who start out playing college football actually play all 4 years. 75% of them quit. That’s a staggering number to be, but it makes me that much more glad that we’re primarily focusing on schools that’ll provide need-based aid and merit-based scholarships rather than athletic scholarships. That way, if Devin becomes one of those statistics (even though I don’t think he will), the funding for college will still be there.

Third, regarding majors: 7 out of 8 freshmen change their majors at least once before they graduate. I figured it was pretty high, but I wouldn’t have guessed it’s that high. I still think it’s a good idea that we’re focusing on schools that have the program Devin is interested in–but it also means that the other academic areas need to be strong, too.

Fourth, regarding overall skills: It seems the three most important skills that lead to success in college are:

• Time management skills
• Study skills
• Test-taking skills

I would’ve probably guessed that the first two were in there, though the third makes sense, too. In fact, back in the day when I substitute taught (3 days a week while I attended classes 2 days a week), I developed a time management seminar I could use when classroom teachers didn’t leave lesson plans. That way, it would be appropriate for physics, algebra, history, English–you name it.

In fact, when I was asked to substitute for multiple days in the same classroom (and I still didn’t have lesson plans from the classroom teacher), I did some study skills stuff, though my seminar wasn’t quite as well thought out as the time management one.

I think I need to do a better job working with my kids (and my students) to help them develop all of those skills.

Come to find out, the coaching staff has changed. The new head coach just arrived a couple of months ago, so their recruiting is a little behind. They have a nice winning season streak, though, which is very appealing.

The theater department is nice, too, so we just need to wait to see how the financial aid packages turn out. There are just so many good schools who want him to come–enough to award quite a bit of money, too–though no 100% packages. We have to make a decision soon, though. Praying hard.

• Lycoming in Pennsylvania
• Ohio Wesleyan
• Cornell in Iowa
• Albion in Michigan
• Brevard in North Carolina

Merit-based scholarships are in, and some need-based ones have arrived. One athletic scholarship may be in the mix—but so far, we’re not at a full ride. Continuing to keep my fingers crossed, though!

It was a terrific experience all the way around. Terrific facilities—no doubt about that. Bigger campus than I was expecting; definitely bigger than the ones we’ve been visiting this week. Nice tour of the theater area, too. Turns out that theater isn’t a major there, though—only an emphasis, or minor.

Also, the football coaches never received Devin’s highlight DVD, which is a shame, because they already have most of their recruiting done. That said, we did get to meet a couple of coaches—the defensive back coach (Devin’s favorite position is safety) and the recruiting coordinator for our region, who was very cool. So there’s still a shot at Princeton, as well. Right now, Devin is leaning toward the smaller schools (probably as much because they want him so bad as anything else), but he said he could see himself happy at any of them, which is terrific, I think.

The downside of being on this campus today was that they are on spring break, so we didn’t actually see many students. He did get a tour from a student, though, and he met with the theater department chair. We chatted with a football player and with a couple of the coaches, and both of us were impressed by the football program—the facilities, the winning record, and the philosophy of the coaching staff.

There are only 1,400 students here, which is smaller than the other campuses we’ve visited–but it still has a nice college-y kind of feel. In fact, it still felt plenty big, and is the oldest campus we’ve visited so far, too. Both of us really liked the overall feel we got there.

Their admissions and financial aid departments are pretty creative, too, from what they’ve said. They seem to have generous alumni who provide endowments to help deserving kids attend who can’t afford it. Also, the surrounding countryside was prettier than the other campuses we’ve visited this week.

Before we began this process, I’d never even heard of Lycoming College, but I’m now a fan.

All of that turned around quickly, however, with the best college campus tour guide I’ve ever seen–which may have helped both of us feel like this was the best facility we’ve toured this trip, though the facilities were indeed very nice.

The turf football field is nice, and it is the 3rd largest NCAA Division III college-owned stadium. The rest of the sports complex was nice, too. There are three libraries, many different areas to study or socialize, and several dining areas on campus. Other campuses that are similar in size (around 2,000 students-ish) seem small in comparison. It’s also a block from downtown Delaware, which gives the whole place a nice college-town feel.

The theater is fabulous, too. The audience area was a little nicer at Cornell (the nicest I’ve seen at any college in recent years), but the stage, workshop area, costuming, etc., was nicer here. Met with the head of the theater department, too, and she was terrific.

The coaching staff was terrific–interested in Devin more as an offensive player–slot receiver, running back, and overall athlete. Most of the other coaches have been interested him as a defensive back, especially at safety. The head coach was especially terrific; he and Devin got along well, and he and I got along well, also. I could totally see Devin going to OWU, which is also how he felt. So now I’m just hoping the financial aid package is such that it may be a contender.